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How to Get the Love You Want

While Valentine's Day is a special day on the 365 day calendar to celebrate love, romance and treat the other significant people in our lives with extra kindness and intimacy, the question has to be asked, what about the other 364 days of the year from February 15 until February 13?

If one's goal is healthy and enduring relationships, treating our loved ones with tenderness, care and compassion every day of the year is the goal, not just February 14.  But despite one's intentions, living in this state of love, harmony, and joy even for just one day can be quite challenging, say nothing about attempting it all year.  Feeling stressed, anxious, irritable and frustrated can make treating our loved ones a difficult task when we are feeling anything but loving - tired and  grouchy may be closer to the truth.

 The first step in having more love in our lives is to BE that love.  We have all heard the age-old adage that "in order to get love, we must give love." 

 Has it occurred to you, however, that often, how healthy we feel is directly proportional to our capacity to give love?  Our moods (cranky versus calm, judging or forgiving) are a vital component of our health.
Our mood has a reciprocal relationship to our body - both being influenced by the state of our physical body and causing effects on our physical body.  For example, depression and other "moods" can be a sign that our neurotransmitters are not in balance or a sign that we are hypoglycemic  (low blood sugar) or that our hormones are out of balance.  Do you get agitated or snap at people if you go too long without food?

We might also be going through psychologically difficult times - such as the loss of a loved one or a job, or some other sudden or big change that dramatically affect our daily lives.  These mentally and emotionally trying times also affect our health on a larger scale.  We may be experiencing appetite changes; either having no appetite at all or seeking foods to create a sense of comfort (more often than not unhealthy foods) unavoidably change the physiology of our body.  In either case, there is a strong connection between what we are feeling and how our body is acting on a cellular level.

With that being said, the first step towards loving others more is to take responsibility for how we are feeling and to take care of ourselves.   When we feel good, we are much more likely to be kind and loving towards the people in our lives.  So take care of your health (both physically and psychologically), which might be as simple as asking yourself what puts a smile on your face? Schedule at least a few minutes every day for someone or something that lights you up.

Live from that place of love and joy and carry it with you during the rest of your day.  You might just be surprised how the people in your life respond back to you with more love.

Dr. Dennis Godby, Doctor of Naturopathy, Sutter Medical Foundation.
He may be reached online or at his Sacramento Office (916) 446-2591.

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